mykalee

View Original

Starting Over: My Nomadic Journey So Far

At Parque La Ceiba in Playa Del Carmern, MX. 2019.

How It All Started 

"You're gonna be alright, Mykalee. But I need your to think bigger."  

Spirit whispered this to me during Shavasana one Saturday morning in June.  Back then, I was working 10 hour days, 6 days a week at 2 jobs. I was severely depressed, burned out, underpaid, and desperately looking for a way out. 

Grad school?  Nope. 

A higher paying job to replace the two jobs I had?  Nope. 

I was so exhausted. 

But this. This message was my way out. When I heard it, I knew exactly what God was talking about. A few days before, a friend of mine posed the question, "If money wasn't an issue, what would you do?" I replied, I would spend time traveling and learning about food wherever I go. 

I realized a while ago that food was my next purpose in my life. I had picnics, vended events, and even shared my cooking online. I loved feeding people and I wanted to learn everything. 

Spirit gave me the sign and a few days later, I gave myself permission. I gave notices to the jobs, bought a plane ticket to Mexico, and got ready for my new journey in September. 

My Leap in Mexico

My time in Mexico was amazing. I was proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone and was able to meet new friends, immerse in a new culture, created events and explored. 

However, a big elephant in the room was money. I was surviving off of my savings and no matter how much I've worked to find teaching gigs, freelance work, and clients for my Virtual Assistant business, nothing pulled through. If it wasn't for the generosity of my friends and family, I really don't know where I would be. 

Spirit warned me that the journey was hard but damn!

In November, I went home. I was excited to be back because I genuinely missed my loved ones.  I told myself I would stay at home, re-up my funds, love up my partner, spend time with family and friends, and head off to another destination. This should take a month right? Two months? 

It's now, July and I'm still here. Lots of great things have transpired such as getting my first $1500 client, winning an entrepreneurial contest , and transformed my VA business into a Brand Design Studio. 

While those were great wins, I also experienced some shitty losses. Credit card interest and bank fees were piling up, my partner and I broke up, my brand business no longer aligned with my purpose, and I kept getting rejections from jobs and freelance gigs. And now, the global pandemic that has halted travel, the economy, and life as we all know it. 

I started to feel absolutely miserable. Here I am, 27. I left consistent paychecks, a dope apartment, and a sense of security all because, I heard a voice that told me to follow my dreams. And now, I'm living with my parents, heartbroken, broke, confused, with no end in sight. 

"Is God playing with me? How the hell am I supposed to fulfill my purpose here? "

The one thing I absolutely hate in life is feeling stuck. And here I am knee deep in it and having to face myself everyday. 

Entering The Liminal Space

My mind shifted when I read an article on Lalah Delia's blog, Vibrate Higher Daily. In the post named "Growing in Grace" , Delia wrote about the liminal space also known as The Desert. She describes the liminal space as "a sacred place of transition, of unknowingness, of temporariness, of in-between, of the chrysalis, and of coming closer, but not quite there just yet". 

I know the liminal space all too well. It has come up in my life so many times. In fact, the most recent one was in Mexico. I felt like I was in money purgatory and constantly worried about becoming homeless in a foreign country. 

Mexico's liminal space was an emotional roller-coaster. My anxiety, depression, sadness, and anger was an all time high that many days were spent sleeping due to emotional exhaustion. I was so focused on the my "ill preparation" of the past or a "broke" future that I failed to appreciate my present which included : a fridge full of food, ten pesos tortas, sunny weather, great local and expat neighbors, and a ten minute stroll to the beach. 

Being aware that I'm in the liminal space again, I was determined to make it a better experience. I understood that this time isn't due to failure but transformation. A time to shift my mindset about love, abundance, faith, and self compassion.   

Since accepting and being grateful for the liminal space, I've used it to take care of myself, enjoy my loved ones, learn new skills, build my food and wellness business, and reach my goals. I'm learning to let go of expectations and do what I love in spite of my circumstance. 

I was supposed to start this blog way before I left for Mexico and had felt bad about falling short of that goal in the past. But now, I'm grateful that I didn't. I had to take the leap and fully immerse myself in nomadic start in Mexico. I also researched that many travel bloggers don't share the absolute beginning of their journey. I want to change that by showing every bit of mine. 

Now that you are caught up, let the journey begin...again. 

"Don't be afraid to start over. This time you're starting from experience" - Unknown 

Pin This Post: